The 40 year old virgin

No! Not about that filthy movie....

This is a real life story. Featured in Aval vikatan this month, a reader opens up her personal life in the 'diary' section. 20yrs after her wedding, this 45 yr old woman, a post graduate degree holder, says she is still a virgin, for reasons she is still trying to explore (from her husband)..........I rather not go in detail on why? & how? , but I bet, "These kinda things happen only in India"

Four things to do : TAG

I'm Tagged by Prad

Four jobs I have had:
Research Assistant
Research Engineer
Applications Engineer
..looking for the 4th one now...

Four movies I would watch over and over again:
These are the movies I had/ I am watching over n over again,
kadhala kadhala
pammal uvve (k) sambandham
sathi leelavathy
..hmm....may be 'pretty woman'

Four places I have lived (for years):
Semarang (Indonesia)
Coimbatore, India
Orlando, Florida
..it better be tag 3..all my 3rd places are empty.

Four TV shows I love to watch:
There are no tv shows I'd 'love' to watch...whatever comes up in tv when i sit down to eat..is my only tv time...but these days I am following up with 'kolangal' (sun tv)

Four places I have been on vacation:
New York
Kodaikanal
Banff
Ooty

Four of my favourite foods:
dessert with Icecream
fish
Rasamalai
Ennai kathirikkai (Oil fried Spicy eggplant)

Four places I'd rather be now:
rather be ..out shopping or
...playing or visiting someone
.. or visit my home in India
.. than sitting with this computer.

Four sites I visit daily
yahoo
google
msn
blogs

Four bloggers I am tagging*:
athiraikaaran
ambi
kongu raasaa
vatsan
*Guys!! feel free to drop this tag, if you dont feel like doing it.

The day for making up beauty...

I am always lazy regarding the make-up-beauty part. I can do the necessary needs like dressing up appropriately for the occassion, matching shoes or waxing. But, I never had patience or interest to apply a face pack or hair pack, polish my nails, design henna, thread my brows, or collect bangles n clips. My mom always says, "Look at the girls of your age, why dont you have any interest like any other girl, Now, put some (milk) cream on your face..take it !! It happened for few years in my teen age before she quit whining on this.

After almost 8 yrs, my mother stopped complaining on this, All of a sudden one day, I got interest into this stuff of making up beauty. Last time I went to India, I got few face packs, packs for hair, henna, and ithyaathi...Now 6 months passed, and I never opened those packs.

Finally I fixed up the date for today, to explore the beauty products. I mixed them up with rose water etc. and I am all set to go. Now, someone knocks my door, "Hi, I am here to replace your patio doors, your apartment is replacing all doors and windows. These ones are tinted, hurricane coated, will save your electricity..........................We will work from now until like 6 in the evening Do you think we can start now?

Ma'am! ..Are you listening? Can we start working on your patio doors ?

Flats in china

How do you find out which one is yours ??

* Source: e-mails

ye he indian style !!

University-ல் படிக்கும் போது நடந்த சம்பவம்.

எங்கள் research group-ல் P.hd முடித்துவிட்டு முழு நேர ஆராய்ச்சியாரளாக இருந்த ருஷ்யர் ஒருவரின் மனைவி தனக்கும் ஒரு வேலை போட்டுத்தரும்படி கேட்க, பத்தாவது மட்டுமே படித்திருந்தால் அவருக்கு technician என்கிற பேரில் ஒரு வேலை தரப்பட்டது. இதற்கு முன்னரே சில party-யில் சந்தித்திருக்கிறோமாதலால், என்னுடன் சீக்கிரமே ஒட்டிக்கொண்டார். Lab விஷயத்தில் இருந்து, என் குடும்ப விஷயம் வரை ஏன்? ஏன்? என்று கேள்விகள் கேட்கும் ஒரு அன்புத்தொல்லை அவர். சமையல், சங்கடம் என்று ஆரம்பித்து, நேற்று இரவு அவர் கனவில் வந்த முதல் காதலன் வரை என்னுடன் பேசித்தீர்ப்பார். சில சமையங்களில் அவர் என் நேரத்தை அதிகமாக எடுத்துக்கொள்கிறார் என்று நான் மனதிற்குள் வருத்தப்பட்டாலும், அவருடைய குழந்தை போல் உள்ள மனதினால் எங்கள் நட்பு தொடர்ந்தது .

ஒரு நாள் வேலை செய்யும் இடத்தில் ஏதோ அவசரமாக நான் போகும் போது, அவர் அரைகுறை மேல்சட்டையுடன் என் எதிரில் வர ...இந்த ஊர் பாஷையிலே சொல்லணும்னா, i started freaking out..என்ன சட்டை இது. இரண்டு குழந்த இருக்கு உனக்கு மறந்திடிச்சா? உன் வீட்டுக்காரர் மானம்தான் போகும் என்கிற ரீதியாக நான் பேசிக்கொண்டே போக.....கேட்கும் அவருக்கு 35 வயது. பெரிய மகன் படிப்பது ஏழாவது. இரண்டு பொத்தானுக்கு கீழ் அவர் சட்டை, டெல்டா வடிவமெடுத்து, அந்த விவகாரமான புள்ளியோடு சேர்த்து முன்பகுதி முழுக்க தெரிந்ததே இதற்கு காரணம். அவரும் சிம்ரன் போல் இல்லாமல், நயன்தாரா அக்கா போல் இருந்தது அதிக கஷ்டம்.

இத்தனைக்கும் சேர்த்து அவர் சொன்ன பதில்தான் இந்த பதிவு எழுத காரணம். அருணா வேற யாராவது இப்படி சொல்லியிருந்தா, பரவாயில்ல, நீ இப்படி சொல்லுவேன்னு எதிர் பார்க்கலே...???!! ....என்னடா இது ஏதாவது செண்டியா பேசிப்புட்டமா? என்று...யோசிக்கும்போது அவ சொன்னா பாருங்க!! ....நான் இன்னைக்கு indian style-ல...dress பண்ணிட்டு வந்து உன்னை அசத்தனும்னு பாத்தா...நீ இப்படி சொல்லிட்டியே!! (அடப்பாவி !!)

நான் இதற்கு பிறகு என்ன பேசுவது என்று தெரியாமல் ங்கே!! என்று விழிக்க....கடைசியில் நான்அவரிடம் 'சினிமாவிலும், modelling-ம் வருவதோடு சரி....மத்தபடி தினமும் நாங்க இப்படி சுத்தறது இல்ல' என்று ஒருவாராக சமாளித்தேன். எல்லாம் சினிமா படுத்தும் பாடு!! அவர் குடும்பத்தில் அனைவரும் தர்மேந்திரா விசிறிகள். இவருக்கு கூட "சீதா கீதா" கதை வசனம் எல்லாம் அத்துப்படி.....நல்லவேலை அவர் சமீபத்திய ஹிந்தி படங்கள் எதுவும் பார்த்திருக்கவில்லை....இல்லைன்னா யப்பா எனக்கு நெச்சு பாக்கவே பயமாகீது !!

Incident happened sometime during early 2004

விளக்கேத்த,......சுடு தண்ணி வைக்க........

Many Indian (atleast south) movies, have this kinda dialogue between the son, father & mother when the hero opens up his marriage situation in the house.

அம்மா to அப்பா: என்னங்க, வீட்டுக்கு விளக்கேத்த, என்கூட கோவில் குளத்துக்கு போக, சமையலுக்கு ஒத்தாசை பண்ண ஒரு பொண்ணு வேணுங்க.......

(Mom to Dad: we need a girl to keep the deepam, to gimme company for temples, to help me in kitchen, etc.,)

(or)
Hero to அம்மா/ அப்பா : உங்களுக்கும் வயசாயிட்டே போகுது......நாளைஇனி எனக்கு தலைவலி ஜுரம்னா பாத்துக்க, சுடுதண்ணி வைச்சு குடுக்க ஒருத்தி வேண்டாமா??
(Hero to mom: u r also getting old, dont i need someone to look after me, when I get fever, headache, to keep hotwater, etc)
The above scene appears in many movies screened before 30 years until the recent movie 'Maja'. I am surprised no director thought this as stupid, even in the age when the villains are all computer & graphics educated. Thanks to Crazy mohan & kamal in P.K.S.....a similar situation when abbas tells kamal..."kaaichal, thalavalina.."...kamal replies " அதுக்கு இன்னாத்துக்குடா பொண்ணு ?, விபூதி பார்ட்டி போட்டா காய்ச்சலா தலவலியா பலான பலானதானு தெரிஞ்சுனு போவுது"...

However, here is my little imagination in a oolta situation, when Heroine & father approaches mother regarding the same...

அப்பா to அம்மா: நானும் ரிட்டயர்டாயிடேன்.....என்கூட வெட்டிகத பேச, electricity bill, தண்ணி bill கட்ட, cutting போட... துணைக்கு ஒரு பையன் இருந்தா நல்லா இருக்கும்.

(Dad to Mom: see, I am retired now, It will be nice if I've a company to chat while I sit in the roadside petty shop and do timepass..., to accompany me when I go to pay telephone and power bill...etc..)

(or)

Heroine to அப்பா: உங்களுக்கும் வயசாயிட்டே போகுது......நாளைஇனி என் வண்டி service விட, டாமிய jogging கூட்டிட்டு போக, ஒருத்தன் வேண்டாமா??

(Heroine to dad: Dad ! even you are getting old! dont you think I need someone in the near future to help me service my vehicle, to take tommy for a walk, etc., )

Assistant directors....இத note பண்ணுங்கப்பா...இத note பண்ணுங்கப்பா...(விவேக் style-ல் படிக்கவும்) !!!!!!

Edited on Feb 7, with english translations for my non-Tamil friends !!

Oh yes ! I changed my template today !

.......and hope you like the changes....

Security clearance for H1 stamping

This memory will stay with me forever...I also had so much queries from folks in a similar situation as mine, who were/ are stuck in other countries for H1 stamping waiting on security clearance....after I posted on murthy.com....So here's my experience and hope it helps few people out there...

US to canada: It is supposed to be just a regular weekend vacation and I planned to get back to work after the 3 day vacation in Calgary, Canada. The story took an unexpected twist and turned out to be a 3 month vacation in India.

Canada to India: My case needed security clearance and I was told I can expect the papers from FBI office in Washington anywhere between 2-4 weeks. I received them in ~2 weeks. Reason for security clearance: There are some keywords which demands security clearance. Words includes Lasers, Chemical, etc., . The company I work has the word laser in the name, so I had no escape. My ignorance about security clearance issues made it more difficult when I said these lasers are also used in chemical applications.

3 Months in India:

Week 1 & 2: I wasted time in finding out if there is any short cuts to get appointment in chennai.

Tips: The embassy uploads their website every day between noon - 2pm, so if you sit before the computer and keep refreshing your appt. page, you might be able to hold one. Though I found this out, from someone inside the embassy, I had no patience to do this and skipped this tip.

Week 3 & 4: I had to hold my passport to apply for German embassy, for a conference I committed before 6 months.

Reasons for German Visa: I had a conference in Munich in June. Though planned ahead, I didnt prepare for a visa, as personal appearance is not needed for German visa in US. Visas can be applied and received in post and I would have had enough time if things went as planned.

Week 5: The German embassy holded my papers for jurisdiction problem. Situation worsened as the Chennai German consulate said, I belong to US jurisdiction and not under chennai, (police station-la emergency help-ku pona, antha theruvukku munnadi varaikkum enga limit, neenga solra theru enga limit illangara maathiri...) and my papers has to go to the nearest US Consulate, which is Miami to get cleared. More time, more money and more stress.

Week 6: I was in Germany I thought, I would try my luck in a US consulate in Germany. Not all US embassies in Germany accept people other than Americans & Germans. This means, I can go to the consulate in Frankfurt and not Munich. After I landed Frankfurt, I called up the Consulate from Airport, and it took few minutes before I can talk to someone (and I keep thinking about my telephone bill in Euros).

I told them my situation and asked if I can visit them for stamping. My security clearance papers were cleared by then. He consulted his colleague (ooops ! the bill is running), and asked me if I have the I-94 with me..I had carried all the papers with me, and was totally prepared for this. I had few e-mails to this embassy, before. But, I just didnt know, that the H1B approval notice was also referred as I-94....For me at that moment, I-94...sounded like I-94 card which they stamp it with the Passport, and I didnt have it, as they took it out in Calgary. And so, the officer apologised that he cannot help me, and I hanged up. Atleast he was very kind, and didnt add to my worries. Later then I found out, that I had..., but I wanted to cool it off, and take things pragmatic.

If I choose to go to the Frankfurt embassy, I have to pay the fee to their a/c in a particular bank, take the receipt, go to the embassy and fill out the forms and get everything done before noon. And they will not give the passport to me on the same day, but will send in mail. I do not know, if they'l accept to post it to my hotel in Munich and if they take more than a week, then I might have to sit there, paying for hotels + food, until I receive it. Something striked me, not to run into the Frankfurt streets and try the unknown city and cab. So, I went back to the Lufthansa counter to transfer my tickets from evening to Morning. Until that minute, I havent heard that there is an additional fee to change the flight tickets. 'coz all the tickets I changed in difft instances never charged me a fee for same day change (fee for changing to a difft date, or when you call them in ph is understood, but when you are in the airport, and want to change few hours, they usually dont charge)..but things are little difft here, as they said it depends upon where you buy the ticket, and my indian bought ticket has difft rules that I had to pay extra for a change. I paid .... to change from pm to am flight.

Week7: I have no patience to wait for chennai appt. I applied for canada visa again. 'coz its my second time, I dont have to appear in person, and I asked a travel agent to do it for me.

Week 8: Waiting on the result.

Week 9: Came to know, the travel agent knew nothin abt these procedures, though he claimed he knew, and did all mistakes in the world to make me freak out.

Week 10: By the travel agents wonderful job, I had to appear for a personal interiew in Delhi..phew!

Week 11: Delhi payanam

Week 12: Getting tickets to canada. There was a heavy student traffic and tickets werent easy Week 13: Canada to US. with loss of pay for 3 months + other expenditures

(Other expenditures coming in next part)

In a similar situation ?? Shoot me an e-mail

Incident happened during May 3 2005 until Aug 3 2005